What’s Your Most Generous Interpretation?

Let’s talk about MGI – most generous interpretation. I first heard this term over the weekend while listening to a Dr. Becky podcast episode. She talks about it as it relates to parenting and how we respond/react to the things our kids do and say. Her view is that parenting becomes less of a battle when we give our kids our most generous interpretation in any given moment.

Let’s take a personal example from my life. Whenever we set out to brush my son’s teeth, he acts goofy, plays around on his step stool, and bites his toothbrush. It is nearing bedtime, my patience is running low, and my tolerance for his behavior is literally running out. My usual thought is, “Why can’t he just stay still for two minutes and say ahhhh like I want him to?” Sound familiar?

Over the past few days, I’ve been replacing my usual non-helpful thoughts with MGIs. Last night, I thought, “He’s had such a long day, and I’m pretty sure he sees this as a mommy and Kaiden moment where he can be silly and make me laugh. Also, what kid stays still for any period of time?”  YOU GUYS! Simply by changing my thought and giving him my most generous interpretation I could come up with, our entire bedtime routine changed. It was actually pleasant and loving and calm.

I’ve been practicing the MGI method over the past few days with Kaiden as a little experiment, and let me tell you...it works! Kaiden is still a little boy with emotions and thoughts and ideas of how things should go, but when I give my MGI, I’m able to think more clearly and be less reactive. I’m able to see his behavior from a place of compassion instead of frustration.

The best thing about MGIs is that they’re not just reserved for kids. I guarantee if you give your significant other your MGIs, your relationship with them will change for the better over time. Same goes for your parents, siblings, friends, etc. Your relationship with those you love will always benefit from this.

Now MGIs aren’t for every person and situation in your life. I’d say you’re the best person to assess whether or not you even want to go there. For me, if someone has a pattern of being disrespectful or unkind, I’m more likely to walk away and create firm boundaries around my interactions with them versus give them my MGI over and over again. But again, only you can decide if, when, and how you want to use this approach.

 I hope this was helpful, and here’s to compassion over frustration and responding over reacting.